Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Dump

Last Saturday, I went to the dump.  We don't have trash removal here in the Hollow, so what that means is, you accumulate your garbage in a place (the garage) where it will be free from animals/rodents and then load it all up "nice nice" and off you go to the dump.

It sounds simple enough and usually it is.  At least I've never incurred a problem before.  I went out to the garage and loaded up the boxes, bags, plastic recyclables and lastly the newspapers into the back of my Wrangler and hit the garage door button.  I remember thinking to myself, "I hope I don't run in to anyone I know" because I still had on my hiking boots, my wind pants, a navy polartec and my bright orange vest.  Typically that's what I wear when I walk the dogs and I hadn't had a chance to change since after our walk, I had taken down the outside wreaths and swags, deciding that it was "time". 

So, my first adventure...I mean really how many could there be?...I'm heading to the dump...was when I saw ahead of me that flock of turkeys.  They apparently had decided to cross the road.  I stopped and watched them as they crossed the road, taking their sweet old time.  I counted nineteen and thought how cute they looked strutting along off into the deep woods.

Over the railroad tracks and paralleling the creek which was flowing pretty good I thought.  Then as always, I stopped at the stop sign and up the steep grade to cross the railroad tracks once again and voila, I'm at the dump.

I pulled all the way down and around so my truck is heading out, shut off the ignition and got out.  I tackled the plastics first, unscrewing all the caps as instructed.  For some reason, I'm always afraid, I'll drop in one of the little caps.  Then what?  Does that mean I have to go in after it?  

It was the newspapers next and then the garbage.  I grabbed hold of the first bag and since it was light enough, I was able to simply fling it over the top.  Then the next bag needed two hands and up and over it went.  Then the third bag, which was the heaviest.  Carrying it to the bin was easy.  It was getting it up and over the side that was a little hairy.  But I managed.

I noticed a small pick-up truck pull in.  He pulled in facing me but didn't get out of the truck.  When I was all done, I walked back to the Jeep, climbed in and reached for the keys.  The keys..."where are the keys?"  I climbed out and began searching all my pockets.  No...not in my pants pockets.  No...not in the vest's front pockets.  No...not in the vest's side pockets.  I climbed back into the Jeep.  Not on the front seat.  Not on the passenger seat.  Not on the dash.  Not on the floor.  Not in the console cups holders.  I shuddered to think it, but did anyway..."Don't even tell me!"

I got out of the truck and thought "now what do I do?"  Did I have them in my hands while I was doing the trash?  It was about then that I thought, "I couldn't have, could I?"

Well, now this is a no brainer!  I couldn't move the Wrangler closer to the dumpster in order to use it to climb on so I could go dumpster diving...YUCK!!!!...because I didn't have the keys to start it nor was I strong enough to push it alone.

What made me decide that the small pick-up was safe, I really don't know.  I think it was the little bubble light on the roof.  I walked over and as I got closer to the window, I saw the man had his hands full of money!  He was counting it, I think.  He kept in right in plain sight while I was standing there.  It would have been so easy for someone to rob him which is so scary...especially nowadays!!!  I told him that I'd lost my keys and that I thought I may have tossed them into the dumpster by mistake.  He smiled.

He offered to hoist me up by giving me a leg up.  For some reason, I decided to decline.  Instead I managed to get onto a piece jutting out from the side and climb in!  YUCK! EEEEEWWWWWW !  At the age of 63, I can finally say "I climbed in a dumpster!"  Thank goodness, there wasn't much trash in the bin.  For that, I was grateful.  Only about fifteen bags.  And the bags I had thrown in were all on the right side.  Moving them around and over was easy enough.  There they keys!!!!

Yep.  I was in...but now how the heck was I going to get out?  Thank goodness that Edson (the man with the bubble on his roof and my new friend) had a ladder in the back of his truck!  Heaven only knows why he didn't think of it when I was climbing in, but I sure am grateful that he thought of it for me to climb out!

There's a  lesson here:  Pockets are there for a reason!


  1. Oh, JP, I knew where that was going and I just cringed for you! Did you have a cell phone with you? I keep thinking about what if you couldn't have retrieved them...

  2. Oh no! So glad you found your keys. This did make me laugh. And for some reason - think of all those poor kids in middle school who would accidentally throw away their retainers and then have to go digging in the cafeteria trash to find them --- ewwwwwww.

  3. You are 63 and have never been dumpster-diving? Holy-moly!

    That sounds like something I would do, only I would not ask for help. I'd be too embarrassed.

  4. I hope I never have the pleasure of dumpster diving.... I'd be afaid of the critters that might be in there.

  5. at age 66 i have never been in a dumpster or even close to one, never dumped anything. i have always lived where we put it in can and on the curb and the big smelly truck comes and picks it up. not sure what i would have done if it happened to me, but this makes a really good story and i enjoyed it. glad us found yours keys and the man with the ladder. otherwise you migh have had to spend the day until someone else came to dump their trash.

  6. Yup. I wouldn't have exactly had the forethought to consider how I'd get back OUT of the dumpster. I'd have been piling 15 bags of trash into some sort of wobbly squishy pyramid in hopes of climbing out. Thank goodness for your money-counting-in-public angel!

  7. If it makes you feel any better, I have done the same thing, twice. We have a dumpster also. Why I think I have to take the keys out in the first place is beyond me. If you're going dumpster diving you really need to be in good physical shape. A little rock wall climbing experience doesn't hurt either.

  8. Oh, my goodness! I'm glad that you found your keys, AND that somebody was there to help you get out of the dumpster!

  9. The way I look at it JP is that God sent an Angel there to help you get out! I mean, who carries a ladder around? Not me! Whew! I'm glad you found them!

    Have a Great Week!

  10. Wow - what a moment! A snapshot in time!!! Great little story!

  11. What a rather yucky situation to be in but I agree with Angela. You lost your keys and that guy with a ladder is just sitting there counting his money. What a blessing!

  12. Oh my gosh that is one of the funnieset stories I have ever read - you need to send it in somewhere. I just can imagine you doing this. So funny. Glad you were safe and found your keys.


  13. And just in case - have a spare set. (Grin). Milady often loses something which she is certain must be in the garbage. Nope - not yet anyway - but have had to look a few times anyway. So far the missing item has been carefully put away 'safe'. (VBG)


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