Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

Mother's Day always makes me inhale deeply and tear up.  I was raised by an Aunt, my mother's sister because my mother had to be committed into a facility for the mentally ill. I was four.  She was released when I was twenty.

Being a mother myself makes me wonder how (and what) she felt as she sat gazing out the window on Mother's Day or if she even realized it was Mother's Day.  She stared out the window a lot we were told.

I loved her as she was...when I saw her three times a year...on Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Sometimes she was angry.  Sometimes she didn't know me.  Sometimes it was downright scary to be around her.  I really cannot tell you what I learned from her since our time together was so short, but I do know that I am blessed to have had her in my life.

Women who loose their children suffer much pain and unbearable agony.  It is for them and to them that Mother's Day is dedicated.

13 comments:

Delores said...

For every Mother who is happy on Mothers Day there is one who is not. My heart goes out to the Mothers whose children were abducted recently and who have no idea where they are or what is happening to them.

Weekend-Windup said...

To be a mother is a wonderful thing in the world! Happy Mother's Day!

Brandi said...

Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. I'll be thinking of you and your mother this Mother's Day.

Ann said...

Happy Mother's Day. I hope you have a wonderful day

TexWisGirl said...

i hope your aunt was your mom, then.

Rambling Woods said...

My Mother was also hospitalized for periods of time starting when I was 6 for mental illness. She was stubborn and could be very nasty alternating with love. We had a difficult relationship up to her death, but I admired her passion for trying to help the underdog in society and for her keen intellect. Having a functional Mom is not something I ever had, but mourn her loss....

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Wishing you a wonderful day, JP, and sharing such a personal memory is often helpful, but can also bring up sad memories too. Glad you found a substitute mom in yiur aunt.

Ginny said...

I am so very sorry...I cannot imagine your pain.

Nina said...

You raise such an important theme ... Not all moms are capable of raising their children, even if they wished so - and the sorrow of not being able to be the mom one wishes to be, must be heavy... Suffering from mental ilness is still a tabu, even if it is as normal as being physically ill.
Mother's Day is not a happy day for everybody - there are so many women, that would like to be mothers, but due infertility issues, it's not possible - and then there's mothers, who har children but they cannot be with them ... Thank you for sharing from your heart!

Betty said...

That's so sad, but things might have been different today with all the medications now available. I hope your aunt was a good substitute mother for you as that must have been very confusing to a child. I hope you have a good day with your family.

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

I totally agree with what "Brandi" said above. It's a day that has its mixed emotions for many of us, including me. Thank-you for this special post -- I hope your day has been an enjoyable and memorable one.

Chatty Crone said...

I sure do hope you had a great day today for Mother's Day.

Bee Lady said...

I think there are many people who have sadness on Mother's day. I had a different comment written, but I deleted it and started over! I hope you had a wonderful day, and you also remembered your Aunt on Mother's Day.

Cindy Bee

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