Saturday, October 5, 2013

The PIG Races

Yes, that is the word PIG in the title. Not big.  Not horse. Not dog. Not car. But PIG, as in oink, oink!!

There we were meandering along the fairway like all the other attendees looking at the various merchants selling leather goods, wooden signs, crafts, Western attire and even hot tubs. The sign stood before us and there in big bold letters...Pig Race today at 2 pm. Beyond the sign stood a trailer nicely kept surrounded by circular fencing encompassing the width of the trailer. Looking at each other and grinning, we thought why not?

Promptly at 2 pm, a gentleman and woman appeared on the small stage adjacent to the trailer but to the left of a larger ramp leading down to the fencing. At the far edge of the fencing were four starting gates.  Welcoming all of us with an exuberance of a true performer, the man went on to announce the contestants for the race. It went something like this.

" In lane one, straight from the bright lights and in great shape after having a baby,
Kim CarDASHiHAM
(Giggles and applause from the audience)

"In lane two, marinating beautifully as usual, the lovely
Brittany SPARERIBS
(Giggles and more applause filled the air)

"In lane three, right off the set of Sex and the City, the lovely
Sara Jessica PORKER
( a few grunts, groans followed by applause and laughs)

"And finally, in lane four, the multi talented and well rounded
Lindsey LohHAM
(This one drew out even more groans, laughs and louder applause)

DING,
went the bell and they were off. The four piglets raced like there was no tomorrow running in their designated lane, rounding the bends and turn with agility and speed, kicking up dust with their tiny hooves. In lane four Lindsey LoHAM seemed to be making headway. The crowd went wild as she closed in on Kim CarDASHiHAM. With a burst of last minute energy she passed the little pink Kim and flew up the ramp as if she were heading in for supper!

Although I have no picture of the actual race or winner, take my word for it. The piglet in lane four, the infamous LINDSEY LoHAM rounded the last bend and scooted up that ramp so fast, her name should have been Lindsey LIGHTNING LoHAM!!

We all chuckled and listened attentively for the contestants for the next race However, we knew it was time to move on when Hillary RodHAM Clinton was announced. Since we're all too familiar with politics, we didn't want to see the others dragged through the mud!

8 comments:

Tabor said...

Funny. I have seen the pig races at the fair and now think I should make an effort to take my grandchildren in the future. It is so hard to get them to scheduled activities because they are way too busy!!

Willow said...

OMG Too funny ...love the appropriate names too !!! lol

Delores said...

Now there's a fun event for you.

TexWisGirl said...

they have them at the state fair of texas, too.

Starry Dawn said...

Hi dear one,
I have never heard of a pig race.
It's interesting to know about it.
Thank you for sharing it!
God bless you, sweetheart.
Poet Starry Dawn.

Porch Days said...

Loved your description of the PIG race. Sounds like fun! Nancy

Ann said...

oh that sounds like fun. What clever names they came up with

Chatty Crone said...

I have been to one too - they are so much fun to see.

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