Friday, February 18, 2011

Spring

 

Red Writing Hood - Found

Your assignment this week was to write about finding a lost article of clothing in the back of a drawer or closet. You were to let us know how the item was found, what it is, and why it's so meaningful to you or your character.  ~~~~~~

Feeling the sunshine on my face when I was outside today, I couldn't help but feel refreshed.  Spring is just around the corner, I thought.  Since all that fresh air and sunshine had rejuvenated me, I decided, once I came in, to tackle a little "spring cleaning"...specifically, my portion of the walk-in closet.

As I filled the heavy weight garbage bags with more and more, I felt good.  I mean, after all, Goodwill and the Salvation Army were always on the top of my list when it came to donating.  The third bag was designated for the womens shelter.  I filled it with the more "professional" articles of clothing, shoes and handbags.  Remembering back to the days when I could have used a hand, I knew that the women who would be able to use the shoes and clothes would find some comfort in them as they transitioned into a job and self-sufficiency.

Then, tucked way in the back on the end of the rack, I spotted something red.  It was smashed up against the wall.  What in the world? I thought.  Grabbing a hold of the hanger, I quickly brought it into view.  The leather collar was beginning to dry out.  The sleeves, still cuffed from the last time I wore it, draped at the sides.  It was my red barn jacket.

In an instant, emotions took over.  Sadness made me draw a deep breath and exhale slowly.  Then before I knew it, my eyes filled with tears.  Drawing another deep breath and swallowing hard, I remembered all too well why I'd placed my once favorite red jacket at the back of the closest.  It was to bury what was associated with it.

Once again, I relived the pain as the salty tears welled in my eyes and began streaming down my face.  My mind replayed that night as if it was just happening.  Grabbing a tissue and blowing my nose, I drew another long deep breath and remembered.

Once we were in the car, I played Beethoven's 5th Symphony.  It was our favorite.  Once inside, the receptionist took us in immediately.  The aid came and took her down the hall to insert the port, while I agonizingly waited in her room.  She returned as if nothing was any different, walking that jaunt that was unmistakably her.  The jaunt that was so full of life.

Then, the Doctor came in an said, "You may want to sit on the floor and cradle her in your arms."  She didn't have to say another word.  I took off my red barn jacket and spread it down on the floor.  "Kiera, down," I said.  My dog, as always, obeyed immediately and was now next to me..resting comfortably on the red barn jacket  Cradling her head in my arms, I tenderly kissed her on the forehead and said, "You be strong and brave.  Wait for me.  You nap now."

Kissing her again as she slowly drifted off to sleep, I tried to hold back the tears.  Her body went limp and I knew it was over as the doctor listened for her heartbeat.  She was gone.  Sobbing uncontrollably, I rose and almost immediately fell into the doctor's waiting arms.  Then she carefully lifted my German Short-haired Pointer's body, slid the jacket out from underneath her and handed it to me as we walked through the doorway.  "Are you going to be alright to drive home?" she asked.  Nodding, I put on my red barn jacket vowing that I would never wash or wear it again.  I haven't up until now.  It hung buried.

However, perhaps it's time.  To me, Spring means to begin anew.  Perhaps it is time to let go of the pain as well as the tears.  Yes.  It is time to wear my red jacket, to laugh and speak often of my dog, Kiera.  Yes, laugh and speak of her as if she were beside me. 

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's the best...

-EBR

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

It's a good thing to let go sometimes. Happy spring cleaning!

thesedaysofmine.com said...

Awwww..... such a sweet tribute to your friend. I have a poem that I found about losing a pet; it's in my notebook of card verses that I use. Most of the time, I can't bear to even read it -after losing my sweet kitty last year.
But you're right: spring is a time to start anew! You'll always have the memories of your sweet Kiera, and her spirit will always be with you.

Dianna
www.thesedaysofmine.com

Sandra said...

teared up reading this, i can relate, been there done that except for the jacket. i am thinking you are getting rid of it now? it is time to start anew and you will always have your memory, yesterdays post was on our dog Max and he is why i can relate

texwisgirl said...

Thanks for the tears.

ArtMuse Dog and Carol said...

I know just what you are talking about ~ have a tribute to my dog on my blog who died last Feb and I cradled him in my arms while sitting on the feeling his 'soul' pass into the ethernet ~ gad I love so deeply that I hurt ~ but am glad I love deeply for love is what it is all about ~ enjoy the day ~ hugs and namaste, artmusedog *_*

Pamela Gold said...

I think you're right. It was time for you to hold that jacket in your hands and relive this very tough memory of yours then wash it and begin anew. Life moves forward but memories remain vibrant.

P.S. The link to your blog at TRDC wasn't working for me, I had to Google the name of your blog...

(Florida) Girl said...

Oh, honey. Anyone who has lived through this knows how excruciating that moment is.

Stopping by from TRDC.

Tiggeriffic said...

That made me cry but it also brought back memories of our favorite dog, Brandy and how she died in my arms..I look out the window and can see where we buried her..
Save the coat,,,it is a new day and a memory that will be with you forever. Good Memories.
Have a Tiggeriffic Day~! ta ta for now from Iowa:)

Donna said...

Having done this very thing in September was a hard journey for me. Reading this brought it all back freshly. So sad to lose a beloved pet but for 14 1/2 years, he brought so much joy to ours that it was worth all the pain of losing him. Well written!

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